When a person you love dies, it is natural to feel grief and expect friends and family to empathize with you. Unfortunately, this kind of empathy cannot always be counted on when your beloved dog or cat dies. Not all people understand how important a pet can become in the life of its owner, and therefore they cannot understand why you grieve so much about the death of “just a pet”.

People love their pets and consider them to be members of their family. Pet owners celebrate their birthdays, entrust them with their secrets, and carry their photos in the wallets. Therefore, when a loved one dies, it is not unusual for the owner to feel grief.

Animals provide their owners with emotional support and unconditional love. If you understand and accept this bond between people and their pets, you’ve already taken the first step toward coping with the loss of a pet: knowing that it’s okay to feel deep grief when your pet dies. This article will bring you closer to the day when the memory of a deceased four-legged friend will cause a smile instead of tears.

5 stages of acceptance of the inevitable — from denial to acceptance 

The feeling of loss is as individual as people: for one person grief lasts for days, for another — years.

1. The process of grieving usually begins with denial, which offers protection until the person realizes their loss. In a state of denial, people expect that their pet is about to return from a walk, ask to let him in the door and ask him to eat. 
2. Then people experience anger, which may be directed at family members and friends. Others feel guilty about what they did or did not do to save their pet. 
3. At the third stage, a person can turn to higher powers to ask Them to return life to his pet — they say, take everything from me, just return my pet! If you cannot avoid this, but you should not give everything away, leaving something for the next step.
4. After these feelings subside, real sadness comes. In this state, people become withdrawn and depressed. These feelings should be experienced alone, observing life from the sidelines, in order to gain new emotions and impressions. Grief is a personal experience that cannot be shared.
5. And finally, the stage of acceptance. Having gained new emotions, you will want to share with them. Against the background of the loss of a pet, you will want to tell someone about him — this is a form of seeking support. Write to a local or online pet Loss Support groups, read books and magazine articles. You will tell them about your irreparable loss — this is a form of acceptance. Tell them about how your pet was — cheerful and cheerful. Capricious, grumpy and brawler. This is something that you will always remember. 

Children

Losing a pet may be a child's first experience with death. The child may blame themselves, their parents, or the veterinarian for not saving the pet. Children may also feel guilty, depressed, and afraid that other animals they love might be taken away from them.

Trying to protect your child by telling him that the pet has run away can make the child wait for the pet's return and feel betrayed when he learns the truth. By expressing your own grief, you can convince your child that grieving is okay. This will help him not be afraid to express emotions and deal with his feelings more easily.

Elderly people 

Elderly people have a particularly hard time losing their pets. The death of a pet can trigger painful memories of other losses and remind older people of their own mortality. Moreover, the decision to have another pet is complicated by the possibility that the new animal may outlive its elderly guardian.

If you are an older person, try chatting with friends, call the pet loss helpline, or best of all, volunteer at your local animal welfare center.

Life goes on

If you have other pets in your family, they may become naughty, stop eating, and show other signs of anxiety — this is due to the fact that their connection with the deceased pet has been interrupted. Even if they weren't best friends, changing circumstances and your emotional state can upset your other pets. To protect other pets from the stress of losing one of the four-legged family members, try to maintain their normal daily routine.

The decision to have another pet

Rushing with this decision will not be fair to your new pet. Each animal has its own unique personality, and a new animal cannot replace the pet you have already lost. You will know when to get a new pet after you give yourself time to go through the 5 stages of inevitable loss. When you're ready, remember that an animal shelter or rescue service is a great place to find your new four-legged friend. In Kiev, for this, contact Help center for homeless animals "In good hands".